At my sister's wedding shower last Saturday I noticed something that was a huge eye-opener for me. Most of the ladies there didn't want to have any treats or have more than one. Consequently there were a lot of treats left over by the end of the shower and the hostess was trying to make people take them home. She said things like this, "Take some home for the kids." or "Give it to the grandkids... they'll love these!"
I started thinking about how I do that sometimes and I remember my Mom doing that with us too. Just last Christmas my siblings and I came to my Mom's house to visit for Chistmas and she had goo-gobs of cookies and sweets all laid out that had been given to her as neighbor gifts. She said something like, "I'm glad you guys are all here and can eat up all this stuff cause I can't eat it!"
Why do I feel compelled to let TJ have the treats and sweets that I deny myself? Sure he likes it, but am I giving him the message that it's ok for him to eat that stuff... nay, it's his duty to eat up that stuff that Mommy won't eat so that at least someone enjoys it? Is it so bad to throw the extra birthday cake away instead of feeling obligated to eat it?
I'm not quite sure what the answer is. I try to be careful with what TJ eats, but there are times when he gets a lot of sweets and not so healthy meals while I choose a healthier option for myself (this is mostly true at restaurants since at home he gets whatever I'm having). I don't want him to feel deprived, but if he doesn't get a lot of that stuff early on will he binge on it later or will he not really have the desire to eat it as much as some of us?
I had a friend who didn't really care for chocolate. I always thought that was so strange, but now I'm not so sure. I wonder if she didn't enjoy it just because of her taste buds, or maybe it wasn't made to be a huge treat by her parents and she wasn't subjugated to it all the time. Then again I heard of a Mom who was so proud that her 7 year old had never been to McDonald's. That poor kid! I'm sure there is someway to have a nice balance with all of this.
Just a thought I had. I'm not sure what the answer is, but it's something to think about. What do you guys all think?
I was thinking about this the other day. Why don't I just throw away the candy or cake, etc. Next time I am going to do it. I guess I don't throw candy away because it doesn't go bad or get rotten like fruits and veggies. But then if it doesn't go bad how much value can it really have. Throw it away! It's my new mantra.
ReplyDeleteI was raised to not waste anything. My dad would always have us pass down what we couldn't eat to him, and he would polish it off. So throwing away anything is not ingrained in me. I even feel bad throwing away spoiled food, because it means I wasted it, when I just should have eaten it sooner. So throwing away candy, even though I have no intention of eating it, is too hard a feat for me.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind stocking up on the goodies at showers. Bring on the goodies. I think that is my problem, I don't know how to say no. However, I have restrained myself at times to one cookie, instead of having a taste of all of them. I just have to make sure to pick the most tempting one.
Rachel, I think you hit the money when you said finding a balance. Of course what that balance is is the tricky part.
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm having flashbacks to the "Life" cereal commercials... and the fact that we like to tease my husband about the resemblance between him and the Life cereal Mikey. Similar names, similar tastes... :)
ReplyDeleteYep, there's got to be a balance somewhere! I'm still struggling with the whole idea of carefully watching what I eat--I never had to until just a few years ago, and it's still driving me NUTS. It just feels so anal and kills my enjoyment of eating anything sometimes. I think that for me, as I approach eating as finding fun, healthy ways to eat that actually taste good and don't sweat the actual calorie count too much, I do alright. Sometimes it's fun to splurge on junk food, but I think it balances out with the times we want to eat super-healthy. As long as we aren't fanatical, it seems to work!
My mom (and your mom too, Rachel) once told me of an idea that her neighbor did with her children. They were allowed to eat as much candy and chocolate that they wanted but for every single BITE they had to drink 1 cup of water. This caused them to only eat it when they really wanted to and to not eat so much that it would overbalance everything else they were eating. They also ended up having beautifully perfect skin and great health, I remember her raving about. I think this is actually a fantastic idea- for adults and children both. Maybe I'll try applying it to my next set of goals...
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