My Fear- and the Bruises I Have to Show For it!

For as long as I've known about bikes with shoe clips I have wanted one (clips on your shoes attach to the clips on the bike pedal so when you bike you are actually pushing and pulling).  The more I learned about them the more excited I became about "someday" being able to ride one, increase my speed, go longer distances, and not have to push so much weight around.  I have also been terrified of the clips for as long as I can remember!  Having something that essentially makes it so I can't move when I want to and where I want to is very claustrophobic to me.  Just the thought of a kayak makes me light-headed and nauseous (if your boat tips over you go right with it and your legs are strapped in!!!!).  Biking clips invoke a similar reaction with me. 

I always thought that when I finally got one of these bikes I'd be ready for the challenge and would not be afraid of falling over. I have talked and talked about how it's "no big deal" to tip over and how I would just laugh it off and get up- yet deep down I was shaking like a little girl just thinking about tipping over.

Well, the day when I got to find out what really would happen came much sooner than I could have ever imagined.  My dear cousin offered to give me her incredibly nice racing bike (complete with clips and clip shoes) since she can't ride it anymore because of her neck and since she didn't have any luck selling it. I've been so excited (and terrified) to try it out- I really didn't know how to feel from one moment to the next.  It took me a long time to even try to get on the bike (after practicing with the shoes and the bike just standing) and I was in tears when I did because I was SO scared of falling over. 

I finally got on that silly bike, road to the end of the driveway, and promptly fell over HARD onto the street.  I have bruises up and down my legs, grease marks on my legs that still won't come off, and gravel in my skin... but, you know what?  That was probably the best thing that could've happened to me!  After I had fallen once, I was shaken up and my pride was hurt, but I realized that it wasn't that bad!  I could actually do this thing!  And from then on it was INCREDIBLY fun to ride that bike around.  My dear hubby coached me through a few drills (after realizing that no, I couldn't actually just hop on a bike like that and ride away without any practice like he could) on the driveway using one foot then the other and giving me great tips about stopping.  The more I practiced the more confident I became and the more fun I had.  I didn't want to get off that thing!  I road around for a long time until I finally let hubby have his turn:) 

As we were finished with that first riding day he said to me, "Your biggest problem isn't physical it is mental! You can do so much more than you think you can.  You thought you were going to fall and you did.  You really have to believe in yourself and you can do all sorts of things!"  That was hard to hear, especially since my leg was still hurting, but he is right.  I don't know why I let my mind hold me back so much.  I get so scared to try things or think I can't do them that I end up not doing them, or I end up sabotaging myself so the experience is not good. 

I'm so thankful for a great hubby who has confidence in me and helps me find confidence in myself and I am so grateful and relived and exhilarated to have faced one of my great fears and fought through it.  Here's to may more days of bike clip riding and many more falls... bring it on!